dad killed it in the end. then the next excitg event happened. +E+A+R+T+H+Q+U+A+K+E+ !!!

wat a nite?!! e rat rli scared the hell outta me tt sis volunteered ta slp w me lastnite. haha. i was tt scared. they said i was pale. in fact green. oh christ!! i rli HATE n am SCARED of RATS!!! it's still hauntg me rite nw. aft 24hrs..urghh..

as a result only had 3hrs of slp. had econs revision wkshop tdy. AMOS can rli disguise himself as some kinda character in HARRY POTTER tt kinda settings. gosh..he's lyk a psychotic scientist or evil wizard tt kind. n he's totally B-O-R-I-N-G!!!! i practically slept thru the whole lect. wats more?!! he's not helpg us ta understand econs better..instead he's confusing us. Ting's way of teachg is getg students ans qns in the shortest n easiest way..e easiest way out u can call tt..but AMOS's into theory n v in depth..too CHIM..until everyone was blurred. gosh!

went twn ta meet dear aft tt. tt lazy bum..slept earlier than me but still cldnt wake up. rli miss piggy lehz. spendg whole wk w dear..cos totally same lectures all the way. HAPPY!!! she's the only one of a few who can rli crack me up n be myself. iloveu dearie!!!! i meant wat i said in the letter okie?? i'm alws here fer u!! love+L+O+V+E+!!!! *muahh*

mon w dear, jas n alex was greatt!!! i miss jas n alex's accompany. they r so nice n dwn-ta-earth. feel totally at ease w them ard. talked ta alex on our journey hm. thks fer the advice n thks fer listeng. love all of u!! :)

tt smile he gave me tdy at the LT was so cold n fake. i wished u didnt do tt. y has the outcome turned out ta be so saddening n ta the pt of no returns btw three of u. sigh~~ i wish i can do sthg ta help. but....there's a limit ta evthg. i hoped u werent so scheming n evil. actually sumxs i do miss those times whn we were stil close. y did u choose this path??

finally saw adr tdy. it was lyk 2mths since we rli got tog n talk?? missed his company i muz say. aftall he's my jiemei. his nonsense n all. haha. he's still e same..still the gd old crappy n nonsensical adr. but sumone now v popular alr ehz..dnt nd pple lyk me ard alr..+humph+ no matter wat..u can alws depend on me jiemei!! *hugz* i'll alws rem tt u ate up the 60cents tiny donut within 6secs even aft i told u ta eat slowly. haha.

++u dntwna me ta go out..but she asked me ta go out w her..can i say no?? u vent ur anger on me..askg me y do i go out so often..but i cannot say no ta her can i?? or she'll be angry..n everyone will be angry w me..haha..tts not a fun position ta be in alrite?? there's limits ta my tolerance. no one stands in my shoes ta try understand wat position im in..its lyk im stuck in the mud. none of u will budge..im lyk suffocating here. both of u jst kip aiming ur fire at me..ventg anger on me..im swallowing it well at the moment..but fer how long?? its not a pl i call H-O-M-E anymore. sigh~~++

went fer a short trip ta malacca ta visit some family fwens. sheesh i cld hardly rem any of them. my last trip dere was 15yrs ago. whn i was five. they showed me a pic frm e last trip n how thgs hv changed. im not tt happiee lil ger in tt pic anymore. sigh. thgs aint tt simple anymore. but overall e trip was great (thou e weather was horrendous) got a sunburn aft walkg under the baskg sun fer 3whole hrs. but it was an enjoyable walk w jamie beside me. Auntie Hui n Auntie Lily n their families showered us w great hospitality..so kind. generous n happie pple. yep..frm their faces..i can see tt they r a bunch of carefree n truly happy pple. they lead simple lives..jst wna earn enuf ta get by n they r happy. "happiness is wat we wish fer.nthg else.." such simple pple. at times i jst wna remain there. nthg in spore seem worthy fer me ta remain here. in short i love my time there. i love the pple dere. on the way baq..i was actually sad. i didnt luk forward ta returng. *sighh*

The past week was great. spend it w jamie. i rli missed her. her laughters in this hse. nw quietness n loneliness returned. eldest sis unhappy w my dad (fer god knws wat reasons) n dad's nt talkg ta her too. mom doesn't knw how ta help n jst let thgs happen. quietly sufferg. "wat did i do ta deserve sucha a daughter.."--she said ta me. i cld hear the pain. i did wat i can. woke up early tdy ta acc sis ta fd fair at suntec. tried ta kip her spirits up. hoping tt by mkg her happy, thgs btw her n dad will be better.sigh..it appears tt nthg'll help. im giving up. im tired. this is not a so-called "family" is it?? sigh..this is not a pl i called home. im tired of playg the "middleman"..i miss jamie alr. i filled w envy. she can jst fly off ta japan and dnt hv ta care abt thgs happeng at hm n lead her carefree life dere. she told me she's happy in japan..n im tryg ta prepare myself tt she may not come baq anymore. but how much longer can i tolerate n put evthg in my stride?? she wun be baq fer at least another 6mths..wat will i bcum by then?

uploadg sum pics i took at malacca n sum recent pics..
++i miss those times++